Let it be known that more often than not, sloth be a damnable sin. That is why, along with the subtle pro-evolution insinuation involved, it is completely unacceptable to hang upside down from monkey bars. It is also wrong to be lazy, unless thou art a holy man like myself who art blessed no matter what he doeth, but there art exceptions even if thou hast no reason to deserve special treatment.
Thou mayest remember from an earlier sermon how it has been said that the lord loveth diamonds and through logical reasoning - once again doubters I do know how to use logic - the lord loveth those who purchaseth diamonds. In the capitalistic society which the Lord in his infinite wisdom hath made the USA, in order to purchase diamonds thou must be in possession of money. Therefore, if thou canst earn money through sloth then sloth is no longer a sin.
Thy teachers wouldst have thee believe that it is impossible to turn profits without mental or physical activity, but their heads are not in space. NASA, the noble organization dedicated to locating the home planet of the lord so that we may know him better, hath announced their intention to pay someone seventeen thousand dollars, or enough to buy a divine diamond, for someone to be slothful for three months to see what happens. As well intentioned as they may be, NASA is not mindful of the fact that although the Lord will usually punish a body for the sin of extreme sloth, when the laziness is for the sake of money then the slothful body will emerge from its sedentary state as vital as it had ever been because of the Lord's blessing. Therefore, NASA need only worry about the health of its astronauts if the mission is not pleasing to the Lord.
If they are unsure regarding the holiness of the expedition, NASA may ask me and I shall giveth my flawless opinion as long as capital enters my bank account as a result.
No comments:
Post a Comment